Seven Unmistakable Signs of an Ex-Airline Agent
by Kyle Torti
Neck scarf crumpled in the closet
A flag to the passenger. They pledged allegiance to me and were the citizens of the country I represented. They paid their taxes; I served and protected them despite their callous disrespect for the land. When the flag flew bright and bold from my neck, I was a beacon attracting the weary, confused, ecstatic, and fearful alike.
2. Security Badge Syndrome
The anointed gain access to the sacred halls, the authority to open doors denied to the unenlightened. Laminated, cased in cheap plastic, and unremarkable until wielded before an all-knowing entry like an offering to the gods, its secret power called forth to unlock gateways to raw possibility. I still see the heavy silver doors and feel entitled to pass, I brag about my knowledge of what lies beyond them, even though they no longer recognize me.
3. Cynicism
I was faceless behind a counter. A smile, once an extension of welcome, became a wary precaution. Sharp words threatened me to type faster, find flights, switch seats close to the front, the aisle, the exit. I was an infinitesimal piece of a machine, not enough to matter, yet I determined every individual’s fate. Conditioned behavior that dictates civilized society is revealed to be an illusion. Character is defined by actions in an airport, not when no one is watching. I have since updated my prescription with a poorer opinion of the public.
4. Dark circles
The crescents under my eyes bloom an unsightly bluish purple. They indicate the sleep debt I am still working to repay. They are the physical stamps that say the first flight leaves at five in the morning so I set my alarm for two, I flew in from Paris last night, inclement weather delayed arrivals for hours after my shift should have ended.
5. Niche on the job experiences
Emotional support ponies, stripping veterans, collapsing passengers, DOA’s, and fleeting encounters with famous comedians are the pieces that build the colorful mosaic of stories heralded in bars and around dinner tables. They have fermented with time, distilled into their most intoxicating form.
6. An emergency essentials bag
Including, but not limited to a toothbrush, underwear, passport, ATM card. Always in the backseat. Always packed. Always prepared for a trip and never checked. Standby habits don’t fade as quickly as boarding pass ink.
7. Insatiable craving for adventure
The takeaway that made it more than a job. More of a brand than a sign. A permanent change. I entered the position with an innocent thirst. I left fully tapped into the piece of human soul that demands to be challenged and senses a world to explore.